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Introduction

Many people refer to “child alienation” when describing a situation where a child rejects one parent. While widely used, the term is not entirely correct. The accepted legal and psychological term in South Africa is parental alienation, because it refers to a parent’s conduct that causes a child to unjustifiably reject the other parent. Understanding this distinction is essential for correctly identifying the problem and protecting the child’s emotional well-being.

Why “Parental Alienation” is the correct term

“Child alienation” can be misleading because it suggests that the child is the one doing the alienating. In reality, the harmful behaviour originates from a parent or caregiver, who manipulates or influences the child to turn against the other parent without proper justification. South African courts, mental-health professionals and social workers therefore use parental alienation to describe both the behaviour and resulting family dynamics.

The child becomes alienated, but the conduct itself is parental.

Understanding Parental Alienation

Parental alienation occurs when a parent actively undermines the child’s relationship with the other parent. This conduct differs significantly from estrangement, which arises when a child resists contact due to legitimate reasons such as neglect, abuse or genuine fear. Distinguishing between the two is critical, as incorrect assumptions may cause more harm.

Alienating conduct is typically persistent and strategic, gradually shifting the child’s perceptions and creating negative beliefs about the targeted parent.

Common Alienating Behaviours

Examples of conduct recognised in psychological studies and South African case law include:

• Persistent badmouthing or criticism of the other parent
• Interfering with communication, visits or shared activities
• Creating or exaggerating narratives of danger, neglect or incompetence
• Pressuring the child to take sides or feel guilty for loving the other parent
• Withholding affection unless the child aligns with the alienating parent
• Excluding the other parent from important decisions, school matters or medical care

Such behaviour is often subtle, making early detection difficult without professional assessment.

Recognising the Signs in Children

Children affected by parental alienation often display clear behavioural and emotional patterns, including:

• Sudden or unexplained hostility toward one parent
• Using adult-like language or scripted accusations
• Idealising one parent while expressing extreme negativity toward the other
• Rejecting extended family members associated with the alienated parent
• Fear, anxiety or guilt around complying with contact arrangements
• Refusal to spend time with a parent despite a previously healthy relationship

These signs indicate the need for further investigation by a psychologist, social worker or family advocate.

Legal Position in South Africa

Although “parental alienation” is not defined as a separate offence, South African courts consistently treat it as a form of emotional abuse and a violation of a child’s constitutional rights under:

• Section 28 of the Constitution
• Children’s Act 38 of 2005
• Relevant case law recognising alienation as emotional harm

Courts focus on the best interests of the child and will intervene when alienation disrupts the child–parent relationship.

Legal Remedies in South Africa

Possible court-ordered remedies include:

• Variation of Care or Primary Residence
  In severe cases, the court may change primary residence to protect the child’s emotional well-being.
• Contact Orders
  Courts may enforce or adjust contact arrangements to restore regular, meaningful interaction.
• Therapeutic or Reunification Intervention
  Judges often order specialised therapy aimed at repairing the parent–child relationship and addressing harmful beliefs.
• Parenting Coordination
  A parenting coordinator may be appointed to help the parents implement court orders and manage ongoing conflict.
• Enforcement and Contempt Proceedings
  Parents who deliberately obstruct court-ordered contact may face enforcement measures or contempt findings.
• Parental Education and Counselling
  Courts may require participation in parenting programmes to address harmful behaviours.

Rebuilding Relationships Through Reunification Therapy

Reunification therapy is a key tool in addressing parental alienation. This specialised form of therapy aims to:

• Provide a safe, structured space for parent–child interaction
• Correct false beliefs or fears
• Improve communication and reduce conflict
• Rebuild trust gradually and sensitively

Early intervention greatly increases the likelihood of restoring the relationship.

Preventing Parental Alienation

Effective co-parenting remains the strongest defence against alienation. Parents should:

• Keep interactions child-focused and respectful
• Encourage the child’s positive relationship with both parents
• Avoid speaking negatively about the other parent
• Follow parenting plans consistently
• Seek mediation or family therapy when conflict escalates

Expert Legal Support You Can Trust

If you suspect parental alienation, acting promptly is essential. Early legal advice and therapeutic support can prevent long-term psychological harm and ensure that your child’s rights remain fully protected.

Our team offers compassionate, strategic guidance tailored to your family’s needs. Contact us today to take the right legal steps.